I'm caring for Dad, but I can't shower him: what can I do?
Sep 23, 2022Providing basic body care and hygiene can be a challenge for family members of an elderly loved one. There are some psychological and physical boundaries that some prefer not to cross when they are faced with uncomfortable situations to provide the very basic necessities that most of us take for granted. We don't think twice about bathing ourselves or our toddlers, but when it comes to our parents, wow, that is a different experience. There are some places we just don't go.
So, now what??
How are we supposed to care for them if we can't even provide this basic service? You want to support them and respect them and protect their dignity, but you may feel like you just can't "go there."
There is good news: if you Google search "Bathing Services, " a variety of options will present themselves. Depending on where you live you will have different options. A Bathing Service is something that can bridge the gap between what you fear and what needs doing, and everyone can benefit. Some seniors just feel more comfortable with someone else helping them.
When looking for a service to bathe your loved one, you want to assure that modesty and dignity are preserved and that the patient feels valued and comfortable. Online reviews really come in handy here. You want to be sure to protect the loved one. And you want to know what to expect.
If a service were to come to the home to care for the loved one, you might expect it take an hour or even an hour and a half depending on what they decide to do. For instance, where will the bathing occur: in the shower, in a tub, or will it be a sponge bath for a bedridden patient.
Then, what about the hair? Will it need a trim or a style, or just shampoo and blow dry? Does dad need a shave? Will you need to provide an electric razor or safety blade?
Toenails and fingernails will need to be managed. Toenails of the elderly grow quickly and they can become ingrown if not properly attended to. Their shoes can become so very painful as the shoes compress the toenails. Ankles and feet can swell during this time, and if the patient is always wearing socks, you will never know! Be sure to get those socks off and have those feet inspected and cared for.
What about the mouth? We think of it with our children, but not always the elderly. It still matters. Brushing, flossing and checking for overall good oral health is important.
Some services even offer to change the bedding! (https://selecthomecare.com/home-care-services/bathing-services) After a bath, it is so wonderful for the patient to have clean sheets.
There are some important changes to make in your home when you bring an elderly loved one to stay with you. There are companies who can come into your home and give you a safety assessment. The National Council on Aging has informative articles to help and can connect you with someone who can assess your home (https://www.ncoa.org/article/how-to-contact-your-states-falls-prevention-coalition).
When considering the safety of the loved one, remember that falls are the number one call for the fire department! And so many of those falls happen in the shower. It's slippery in there! Is there a shower chair in the shower for seating? What about grab bars or non-slip pads? Be sure to make the shower a joy and not a hazard.
Keep in mind that you don't have to purchase all equipment brand new. There are many stores that sell used medical equipment for a fraction of the cost! Think thrift stores, Craigslist, Offer Up, yard sales, or even visit assisted living facilities and ask them to tell you where you can get the best deals. It doesn't have to cost you a fortune.
Remember back to when you baby-proofed your house when you brought home your newborn? It is a similar process for the elderly as their needs are changing and their mobility is affected. A fall totally changes everything: seniors don't heal as quickly as they used to. If surgery is involved, there are often long-lasting effects from undergoing anesthesia and things get real challenging real fast. Prevention is so much easier than managing a bad outcome.
If you have other issues that you are dealing with when it comes to caring for your elderly loved ones, come over to our website. At Aging Agendas we are always looking for ways to help and providing resources that can connect you to the help you need.
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